Dealing with Difficult People By Mike Moore

In my travels across North America speaking on motivation and human potential I hear the same question asked repeatedly, "How can I become more assertive?" There is no doubt about it, there are people in our lives who are harmful to our health and we don't like it one bit.
I wrote the following  in response to the question, "How can I learn to cope with the difficult people in my life?" From the reaction I have had to this report it is proving helpful. I do want to say emphatically that what you read here won't do a thing to improve your situation unless you have the courage to use the suggestions given. Go for it! You're worth the effort.

TOXIC PEOPLE.........
rob us of our dignity.
destroy our self confidence.
increase our stress levels.
destroy our morale.
erode our self esteem.
foster negativity.
decrease productivity.
make life hellish.
are abusive.
are toxic because they can get away with it and it works for them.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE
Remember that you can't change toxic people, but you can learn to cope with them. Here are some effective strategies to try.
* Always stand at eye level with the person you are confronting. Never have them standing over you looking down.
* Respect the toxic person and always expect respect in return. Settle for nothing less.
* Remain calm.
* Listen attentively.
* Don't argue or interrupt, just listen.
* Don't accuse or judge, just state how you feel.
* If the toxic person tries to verbally bully you, just say, " I don't allow people to treat me this way." Then slowly and calmly walk away.

* When someone is being toxic to you here is a powerful response and one that is easy to use because you don't have to say a word. In the midst of a toxic attack just PAUSE....LOOK AT THE PERSON, WITHOUT EMOTION......TURN AND WALK AWAY. It works!
* Anger is sometimes a valid response.
* If all else fails you might be left with only one option; to separate yourself from the toxic person in your life.
YOU DON'T EXIST TO BE SOMEONE'S PERSONAL GARBAGE DUMP.

This is an excerpt from Mike's The Art of Verbal Self Defence

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Mike Moore is an international speaker and writer on " Humor and Stress Management" " Humor in the Workplace" and " Humor and Human Relations"

Evolution True?? New Cartoon for Teachers

A Book That Will Transform Your Life

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New Teacher Cartoon: A Sad Reality.

 

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Sometimes a teacher's hug is the only hug a little one receives all day.

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Improve Classroom Discipline: 5 Effective Strategies

                    5 Sure-fire Strategies to Improve Your Classroom Discipline

                                                                                                     By Mike Moore

1.  CARE ENOUGH TO SET LIMITS AND ESTABLISH  RULES

Just make sure that the limits and the rules established are reasonable and few in number.  When establishing the rules you want to live by in your classroom get the students involved in the process.  It is much easier to get your students to march to a humane drummer when they own a piece of the drum.

2.  NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR STUDENTS ON NEGOTIABLE ISSUES

In case you haven’t noticed young people today tend to react negatively toward autocratic authority.  They are very conscious of their rights, if not their corresponding   responsibilities.  They don’t want to be ordered to do anything.  It is much more effective to indicate what you expect, listen to their expectations and try to reach a compromise. 

I know there are those reading this who are thinking, I’m the teacher and I will tell the kids what to do and they better darn well do it without question.” This type of thinking can really lead to a troubled teacher/student relationship.  Keep in mind that we want them to eventually take their place as responsible citizens of our democratic society and this will involve the skills of negotiation and compromise. There is no better effective training ground than the classroom. This doesn’t deny the fact that there are some things that are not negotiable.

3.  REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE A TEACHER AND NOT A BUDDY

Your students do not want or need their teachers to be their buddy.  They have enough buddies in their very active lives.  Be friendly but never relinquish your role as teacher.

4.  WRITE NOTES OF ENCOURAGEMENT, AFFIRMATION AND CHALLENGE TO YOUR STUDENTS.

When your students submit a paper or notebook to be evaluated write brief notes of encouragement to them.  If there was something you really liked or considered thought provoking write and tell them.  I realize a teacher has to point out where the student went wrong on a specific assignment but affirming the positives should also be part of the evaluation process.  You want to avoid red penciling everything they do.

5.  DON’T PREACH

Your students hate to be preached at and we teachers just can’t help preaching whenever we get the chance.  When you preach at them they turn you off so try hard not to.  It really helps to suggest options or alternatives and leave it at that. Good luck with this one!!!  I always found this to be most difficult for me.

This from Mike’s Special Report “How to Up Your Teaching Pizzazz” 17 Effective Strategies to Improve Classroom Discipline and Teacher/Student Relationships.

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Mike Moore is a Canadian teacher affirming speaker committed to boosting teacher morale and enthusiasm as well as reducing  their increasing stress and burnout.

 

New Cartoon: Never do this to a child.

Put the ZIP back into your teaching.

 

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How to Make a HUGE Positive Impact on the Lives of Your Students

Put More Pizzazz Into Your Teaching...  By Mike Moore

A teacher with pizzazz has a fundamental respect for the opinions of other people. And when that comes across, your students warm up to you, and can be free and comfortable to disagree. Remember no one has a monopoly on wisdom and insight.

 

We’ve got to be able to allow our students to challenge us without

becoming upset or angry or threatened. We're not there to teach students what to think but how to think and how to think involves being bold enough to challenge and disagree.

So a teacher with pizzazz is bold enough to stand up and express their opinions but express them in a way that is not going to deny the authenticity and the validity of the opinions of others.

Your opinions will add to the debate on any topic. I have been in the classrooms of teachers who were terrific until somebody stood up and challenged them. As soon as the challenge was issued they became defensive, venomous ,reactionary and used the power of their platform to shoot down the “offending” member of the class.

 

We should always be confident enough in our opinions and our own background and experience that we don't have to shoot down the opinions and ideas of others when they happen to disagree with ours. A pizzazzed teacher has this ability in my opinion.

 

This is an excerpt from How to Be a  Teacher with Pizzazz.

(30 Pages of Strategies,Tips and Techniques)

Become a Teacher Students Will Always Remember with Fondness

 

 

Become a Charismatic Teacher